The old me used to think my way through life. I thought that I was aware of what everyone around me thought and wanted. In turn I matched my behavior to the people around me in order to fit in. “Oddly” that did no work out for me. Friendships were superficial and social gatherings drew energy from me. As the years passed I changed. This change took a lot of work and allowing myself to be vulnerable.
The walls around me began crumbling and blowing into the wind. I am sure some still exist and that this is a never ending cycle of strengthening awareness.
One of the things this led to is the wonderful relationship that I’m in. It flows and doesn’t seem like work. We seem to have found a rhythm that works for the two of us. One of the parts that I like the most is when I wake up at 3am as I usually do and I lay there in silence waiting for sleep to creep back upon me. Sometimes I turn and look at Sam as he sleeps ever so calmly and then, like magic, without warning his arm extends out to allow me space to rest my head on his shoulder and cuddle. I lay there for a while no words are exchanged. Soon after my body calms down and sleep sneaks back.
Life is about flow, most times we are the ones who create the barriers that block that flow.
There is a saying (I forget by who), that says “Are you willing to give up the actions that cause you sickness?”
“I am” I say somewhat convincingly….
Much Love,
Alon
