You know how you have to keep your sensors up to see how your loved ones are feeling? When our sons were teenagers, I would know that something may be up when they entered the house and just walked past me to go to their room and didn’t stop at the fridge to see what has changed in the past fifteen minutes.
When Maya and I drive together, she asks me if she can play music on the car system. This is one of her ways to communicate with me. She plays songs that she likes. Sometimes it’s just a rap song that is catchy. Many times I tell her to skip the song because the words are inappropriate. She agrees and smiles. I love that smile. But other times, she plays songs, and I need to listen carefully to the lyrics. This is how she tells me things that are hard for her to express directly. Once the song is over, I usually start talking to her about random stuff and slowly ask her about what I think is on her mind based on the lyrics. The system works well.
Two days ago, I drove Maya to her Pilates lesson. As we got into the car, she wanted to play me a song. “Of course,” I answered. She said that it is a new song by Justin Bieber, that she doesn’t usually like him but that she really likes this song. “Go ahead,” I said, expecting a well-performed generic pop song. A slow piano tune began with Justin’s clear voice accompanying it. The song’s name is “Lonely”, “What if you had it all but nobody to call”. ….. “I’m so lonely…..”. Tears began flowing out of my eyes as I listened to the song. I cried for Justin Bieber, I cried for Maya, I cried for everyone who is lonely in this world. Maya looked up at me and asked me what I think. I couldn’t talk; my throat had a massive lump in it. I waited a few seconds and then looked at her. She saw my tears. Yes, Maya, “I like it a lot” I said. “Can you play it again please” she looked at me and said, “you really do like it dad?”, “Yes I do” I said.
Maya is going to a new school this year and was craving new friendships. Because of Covid, the kids can’t socialize with each other, and her “class bubble” is very small. I hope this pandemic is over soon. In two weeks, Maya gets a new dog named Leo. He will be a great addition to our lives. He will be Maya’s dog, her responsibility.
In the meantime, let’s connect with each other. Care for one another.
Listen to the song…
Much Love
Alon
